Becoming a lesbian seems like a better and better idea

Boys are so stupid!!!! Seriously!!!
It's so bad that I'm using a Twilight anology to describe it!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
So, say I'm Bella. Theres an Edward, Jacob, and Mike in my life right now. Jacob is sweet and safe, Edward is different and more chancy, and Mike, well the Mike in my life is only the same as the Mike in Twilight as in he's less likely than either Jacob or Edward, but my Mike always makes me feel wanted and desirable.
Now, if I could make a hybrid, that would solve everything.
I'd take Jacob's body, with some of Edward's coloring and height, Mike's sex drive, Edward's humor, Mike's maturity, Jacob's understanding, and since they're all very smart, attractive, and fun to be around, I'll blend those in too.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME SEE I'M DOING A TWILIGHT ANOLOGY STUPID BOYS WHY CAN'T YOU SPACE YOURSEVLES OUT MORE EVENLY SO THAT INSTEAD OF ALL OF YOU AT ONCE ITS WHEN I'M SINGLE AND LONELY?!?!?!
Ahem.
Anyway, I'm gonna go and watch movies and eat mac'n'cheese (Comfort foor).
Bye.